Awesome! A post without a 'He'!!

Or on the other hand, nah. The bane of my soul today ladies and gentleman is still male by virtue of nature.

I wonder, how do you respect someone who does not respect you? On the other hand, what constitutes as respect? The fact that i work in an environment that treasures the hierarchy in comparison to bureaucracy means that i should worship those who are above me. Yet, I dare not.

I will bow to experience, kindness. I am bashful in the company of intelligence and brilliance. A sheer title does nothing but whisper vapour in my ears.

Perhaps this is where my upbringing and every juncture in life has failed me. I was not raised to worship those who stand above me. Rather, I see all of us as equal. Or perhaps, i am too pedestrian to mingle with such high society.

A friend of mine told me that I am not worthy of respect because i am a newcomer. I have to earn it. Then, i suppose, me being me who loves equality answer with, then he should earn it too. And i have already found his faults.

Yet, i can little rectify his wrongdoings. The only figure I am able to change, is myself and that means no more mistakes. No more wrong labels, wrong dates, wrong messages or any such communication. No doing anything wrong. Because i cannot be like him at all. I cannot slip up and I must remember to respect all those around me at all times. I will have to be attentive and focus on every task with a clarity of mind and complete each task with the determination to succeed.

I kinda know why I keep screwing up. I want to get jobs over with. They are menial small tasks that the big guns are not able to complete because they do not possess a scalpel. But perhaps i shall not act like a one trick pony. I will have to show versatility and exceed their expectations with small tasks and destroy any preconceptions they might possess.

I. must. improve. regardless of anything.

I think i cannot look at the horizon and curse at my pace reaching there. I cannot jump past steps because the road looks easy to thread.

Secure your ground. Walk carefully. Look left, look right. Not for company but for the view.

I must not make anymore mistakes because it is unacceptable to my character and i will exceed all expectations regardless of anything. I will forgo my sense of pride. They are used to others bowing before them, my head will just be another decoration.

I am stronger than this and in control of every emotion, movement, virtue and principles that i have.

I will not let him tear me down. I will not cower nor hate.