The problem with social experiments

So, remember how in the previous post i mentioned about gambling? Just learned to play Texas Hold 'Em during the weekend and realise the poker game reflected quite accurately the exchange between moi and Mr. Boy. Only when i did not fold after he raised his stakes, i did not realise i lost the game.

I think imma gonna be kind to me about this whole situation. I've never let heartache resonate quite fully within me, instead drawing false borders and creating fantasies to ensure my sanity is kept intact. It's a little like how i keep on telling myself that i'm destined to be alone, hence why every person i've met have been assholes so far. But I don't feel to do the same this time around.

I think i'm going to let myself experience the heartache and just live it through.

The worst is when i have no confirmation for the reason of his actions thus i speculate. My conclusions have been narrowed to three scenarios.

#1 - Fear biteses his dust
Okay, considering i went completely bat shit insane on him for his assumptions concerning my character, i won't be surprised if he was scared. He probably thought i was some bi-polar freakazoid and just did not want the awkwardness of spending perhaps two hours in my presence. Our conversations have been stunted the past few days too, what with me being way too trapped in my head.
Conclusion: He was afraid, but he does not want to break the friendship. So he pushed the situation the only way he knew how.
Status of relationship: Friendship

#2 - Ego Is He
He probably expected a massive farewell and having something by two is not really what he wanted. So he wanted more to come. Me acting all batshit insane didn't help matters. So he created the massive farewell he wanted by himself. Good boy! Too bad i was too big an asshole to allow it through.
Conclusion: He was still afraid, but now he's an egoistic bastard. Completely used me like the turd he is thus i deem him an asshole.
Status of relationship: Putus hubungan

#3 - I really don't want to break your heart
Okay, so my assumption here is that we have this *connection*. Connection, by all meaning of the word is probably just two people being connected. I mean like via wires, lines, friendships and etc. I didn't really approach him to court him whatsoever, in my defense. But okay, on to the hypothetical scenario. He probably isn't interested in me that way hence why he tried to get others on board. He just didn't want to mislead me, which makes his actions quite nice actually because i can appreciate the fact that he tried to let me down gently.
Conclusion: Nice dude. Though i'll end with a broken heart. Like a completely rejected heart because i finally acknowledge i'm not good enough. Need to be better then. Need to be awesomer so that i can make up for my faults.
Status of relationship: Good friends

#4 - Woe it be, the misunderstanding
He thought i was going to bamboozle him. Thus, that explains his suspicions. It does indicate that he might be interested. However, to suggest something like that means you don't really know me very well although i do understand in the pursuit of a relationship, things like these can be worked on. But then, he would have not invited the others if he still wanted to spend some one on one time. So, although this theory indicates interest, his following actions suggests either of the upper two to be better justifications. The only difference is, this theory suggests he might still be mildly interested.
Conclusion: Sweet to think about and to fantasize on, but wholly unrealistic.
Status of relationship: estranged friendship. because of the element the crush brings.

Okay, of the theories above, only one suggests he might be interested. The rest don't. Even then, it's a 1% chance that he's interested. So, i'm waiting for it to sink into my brain that he's just not interested.

Look girl, we can't pull a JW on this. We can't keep on going to him and inventing stories just to make him seem interested. We're FRIENDS and that's something you've got to deal with.

Like the situation with the first He in the He Chronicles, you kinda have to make sure he gets a girl so that you'd get a definite answer. Otherwise, you're grappling with theories and maybes and what ifs. You have a week to sort out your thoughts and transform your relationship into complete friendship. Want me to create a perfect boy for you so you'd be able to get over it faster? But i don't fall deeply in love with my dreams.

I think it's just acceptance. You're kinda scared to accept cause you don't want to get hurt. But come on, try. Stop creating excuses on his behalf. He probably just likes flirting with you. You can flirt with him right back but you've got to remember it's just friendship. I think you're having problems discerning cause your brain's seeing the possible future. Stop it. Just stop the possible future bit cause you don't have anything together.

Good friends and someone he occasionally uses to ensure he has a social life, that's you.

Be strong kid and we'll talk more when you're ready to accept it.