I am afraid that this is all I will ever be. This being the very reflection of them. It is how much I can take it all in, how strong I am in my outward appearance.
I am more than this, I have to remember that. I am more than academics, politics and administrator. I am an artist, I am a writer.
I am an artist. My soul IS art.
And I have to be beyond politics, beyond hidden agendas and snakes in the grass. Regardless of what happens, I have to remember my soul. And it isn't politics and hidden agendas. I wish to be a straight road and be stronger because of it.
The past few days were difficult. I was descending into understanding and I understand by immersing myself in the essence of knowledge. It consumed me though it really should be I who wielded the control. It became every waking moment I had and echoed in my dreams. I felt like that is all I am, the knowledge that took me by force.
I will have to find pockets of air to breathe or open one of my own. I worry if I switch the world off, there will be somethings I will miss. This might be a valid worry but... if I care enough, this wouldn't happen.
It will be like arguing anime where I will remain forever inspired. I must not forget the world that surrounds me because as large as the portrait I wish to paint, it is often the tiny details that touches my heart.
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