One foot

Hello.

Well, my post today indicates that i am alive.

I'm just going to start off with a nice cyptic statement.

I think i started it.

I think i'm making my family break apart. Maybe as i was looking at them, cursing them for their blindness and ignorance towards the emotion of one another, my hands had striked a hammer unto the ground, splintering the remains of this family apart.

It was my fault, wasn't it?

It is because i exist right?

It's because of me...

Haha!! I guess i did it again.

Just a little case on the update, the fam's a little rocky at the mo. I've complained enough so, i guess that statement will do. At present, my mother hates me because she believes that i in turn hate her. Such a strong word, yet any lesser of a word would do the situation no justice. My siblings are wary of me. After all, i am much like a tyrant raining hale across the land. Bringing forth devastation even as i breathe. Even as i exist. It is me. At one moment, i can be calm. My spirit a drawn horizontal line stretched across the scene. Yet the next... yes, the next is where you will see my rage. It is anger. Wrath. It is my vengeance of my own existance brought upon the lives of these innocent people.

It is my fault, really.

My father just doesn't care. Or he pretends not to. I don't know. I stopped questioning after awhile.

I remember the last time this anger had struck. It was when the division of affection had been greatest. When i was younger and love, the rancid word that it is seem scarce.

I guess that is the only moment that i feel out of sort. When i really feel displaced from society because all of a sudden, the line that contained the throng of human hearts just seem too narrow for a space that was me. I also remember how i grew out of it.

I had school. I had friends who really accepted me. I had comfort and the support and projects to complete. School to focus on. Life to lead. There was so much going on. I had to grow out of this.

I hope this baggage doesn't stay. Because, i'm older. I should be able to lead my life now.

I should be stronger, ne?

Haha!! I can't let this bother me too much, but i guess cause i have nothing much to worry about, this stuff is the easiest thing to worry about. Anyways, i'm thinking about spending a couple of nights in Cyber after this. Just taking a few days off.

Well, that's all now.

Sorry for the depressing entry. I wish i was more cheerful by nature, but.... hmm... i wonder if it's a little too late to convert myself... XD haha... I'm gonna have to think about that. =P Anyways. That it.

Ja'