Yo. Well, this is surprise isn't it? And after i just had an entry a few days ago too... But anyways, i came here today for a simple question...
I wonder is it right that i feel guilty of my own existence...
Sometimes, i look at the world and i see other people in worst situations than me and i think, why me, not them? Or what did i do to deserve this comfortable physical state...
I mean, i know so many people who are nicer, friendlier, much more generous souls than i am and they'd be in the weirdest predicament ever. Mostly not of their own doing. It was because of others. And i'm here, in this nice house, with my lovely cats and getting birthday presents just because i'm fucking born. Isn't there something wrong with the picture?
Shouldn't i not be here because i don't *deserve* to be here?
I hate myself so much, i can die.
But i hate myself more because i cherish these comforts that i'm given and i do nothing for the unfortunate save making their lives worst.
I shouldn't be comfortable right? Because it isn't my place to be? Because it's unfair to others if i am... because, in truth, i'm a darker, more evil creature than they are...
It's just wrong.
2 comments:
Whatever you think, or feel otherwise, it is NEVER a sin for ANYONE to be alive. You may strongly object, but do just spare a moment and a thought for those who really care deeply about you, or have had their lives touched either directly or indirectly by you.
Whether they choose to show it or not I think is another matter. Though I know how they would feel if you think effort and good fortune were all wasted on you.
This is going to sound terribly clichéd and overused, but there's really no use if you're just going to dwell on the negative side of things. Instead of lamenting, why not use whatever you have, in all ways possible, to help those less fortunate?
Gomen ne, if I spoke out of line or in any way, had hurt your feelings; but I just thought it had to be said. Feel free to delete this if you don't like it. =)
But just remember that there ARE people who cherish you a lot, and you mean more anything else to them. Don't put yourself down like that, or in any other way. One small action can mean the world to another. I'm sure you know this better than most people. =)
Yo Chibi!! Gomen for the late reply (if you're going to read this anytime soon/at all anyways) XD I think i didn't log in here after ranting about that last one and... yea... well...
I got nothing much to say because though at moments i feel like i'm doing something, there are other times that i'm not... like just standing still... like when i'm taking a deep breath... i feel so tainted.
It's funny. I think i'm too influenced by my belief in things that don't particularly exist or ideals that are skewered by a rigid belief in the propriety of life which, in the whole i doubt and question very much.
But yes. I should help people more. I really should =P
Hehe...
Thanks for the advice Chibi!!!! ^_^ And for telling me this though i think my reply is a month late. It's necessary and very much needed.
Even though it's a month late.
XD
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